Somewhere, Franklin Delano Roosevelt just rolled over in his Hyde Park grave and muttered, “The only thing we have to fear… is this guy still being president in 2029.”
Yes, America, brace yourself for the sequel nobody asked for: Donald J. Trump—FDR: The Golden Toilet Edition.
In a move that is less Constitutionally sound and more banana republic cosplay, former President, former defendant, and eternal Florida Man Donald Trump is now quietly (read: loudly and with all-caps on Truth Social) floating the idea that maybe—just maybe—if there’s a big enough war, he could snag himself a temporary lift on that pesky little 22nd Amendment that bars him from a third term.
You know. The one that literally exists because of FDR.
Let’s pause here for dramatic irony.
FDR led America through a Great Depression and a World War, created Social Security, and won four terms mostly because voters didn’t want to change horses mid-apocalypse.
Trump, on the other hand, led America through several cable news cycles, invented imaginary hurricanes with Sharpies, and gave us the equivalent of a national hangover with four years of Presidential Real Housewives: Mar-a-Lago Edition. But somehow, he thinks this qualifies him to cosplay as wartime Roosevelt.
All he needs is a pearl cigarette holder and a fresh crisis.
Now, to be fair, Trump’s always fancied himself a wartime leader. During COVID, he stood bravely at the White House podium and declared himself a “wartime president”—right before suggesting we inject bleach and stick UV rays where the sun don’t shine.
But this new strategy is next-level delusion. If Trump had a political vision board (and you know he does), it now includes:
- Declare war on somebody—maybe China, maybe Mexico, maybe Disney again.
- Invoke emergency powers.
- Convince 37% of Americans that FDR and Trump are spiritual twins.
- Get a MAGA-friendly Congress to suspend the 22nd Amendment “just temporarily.”
- Profit.
If you think I’m being hyperbolic, just remember: this is the same man who once asked if nuking hurricanes was a viable strategy. And now he’s eyeing constitutional wartime loopholes like a guy on Craigslist looking for a roommate who won’t ask questions about the crawlspace.
The sad part? He’s not entirely alone.
There are now think pieces, op-eds, and MAGA influencers seriously arguing that “wartime presidents should not be shackled by petty term limits.” (These are the same people who spent 8 years screaming about Obama’s Dijon mustard.)
Let’s call this what it is: Presidential Necromancy. Trump is trying to resurrect FDR’s gravitas while stomping on the very Constitution FDR helped preserve. It’s like trying to turn WrestleMania into the Yalta Conference.
The horror isn’t just that Trump wants a third term—it’s that he might get people to cheer for it.
That’s the real war, folks. Not in the Pacific. Not in Ukraine. Right here: in the trenches of memory, where history is Photoshopped and facts are bent like spoons at a Vegas magic show.
So next time you see Trump squinting into the distance, hands folded, imitating FDR’s fireside calm, don’t be fooled.
It’s not a fire in the fireplace.
It’s the whole house burning down.
TONY CASTRO, the former award-winning Los Angeles columnist and author, is a writer-at-large and the national political writer for LAMonthly.org. He is the author of nine books, including his new debut novel, THE BOOK OF MARILYN. He can be reached at tony@tonycastro.com.
